You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
