Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
