This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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