have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
