Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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