My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
