I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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