haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
