yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
