Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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