Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
