Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
