mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
