so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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