i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize