i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
MIDGETS
????
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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