Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
