His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
