Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
