i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
