I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
