he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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