8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
