Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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