my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
