She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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