New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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