I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
