your parents love me but you hate me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You're like the curious george of whores
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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