Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
