There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
