girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
soo... how was my night?
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