Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
