My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I want is dick and wine.
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