would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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