i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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