Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the condom got lost in my hair
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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