Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
