I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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