I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
