ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
