Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize