If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
