tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
