if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
