Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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