she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
