Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
