Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
