you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
