I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
