C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize