Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
soo... how was my night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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