Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
