two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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