dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
