And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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