remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love you. Go after that dick
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
