Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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