I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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