This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
