Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
