They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
