I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
